The Woman The Work The Space The Questions The Blog The Press All The Rest

The Woman The Work The Space The Questions The Blog The Press All The Rest

Contact Us

Please complete the form below

Name *

Name

First Name

Last Name

Email *

Subject *

Message *

One moment please.

kristina ferrari, m.s.ed.

Hours

confucius say: no one’s life is as perfect as their instagram feed.

One of the things I hear myself asking often in session is “did you say that?” Meaning this thing you’re telling me, this thing that you feel some type of way about, this need that you have, this hurt that you’re experiencing…did you actually say it?  Did you explicitly share that with your partner?  Pretty sure the sum total of times someone has responded yes is zero.
Your partner isn’t a mindreader.  I don’t care how long you’ve known him, how long you’ve been with her, how obvious you think this thing is, how many times you’ve subtly snuck it into conversations, how many arguments you’ve had about it, how easy it seems to do or to know…if you haven’t actually said the words you can’t know how your partner might show up for you.
This practice lasts the entire length of relationship.  It’s vital for healthy communication.  It’s critical in states of conflict.  It’s necessary to really know how someone can care for us.
Mind reading isn’t a skill your partner can learn.  But so many other things are if you give them the information they need to do so.
Mind reading isn’t a skill your partner can learn.  But so many other things are if you give them the information they need to do so.

#relationships #communication #conflictresolution #lovequotes #love #dating #marriage #divorce #couples #relationshipgoals #relationshipadvice #romance #care #connection #positivevibes #therapy #couplescounseling #bewellphilly #mainlinepa #mainlineparent #mainlinetherapist #marriagetoday

Therapy is an investment. It’s an investment in your well-being, in your future self, in your life. Yes, that investment includes a financial component, but here’s the thing — it’s not one sided. I’m invested in you as well. And I demonstrate that investment, that genuine concern and interest and care, in myriad ways. I’ll show up for you…challenge you when necessary, sit in your pain with you, meet you where you are, move along with you in the direction of your goals, and always seek to communicate in ways you can hear. I give an F about your health, your growth, your struggles, your discomfort, your needs, your fears, your dreams, your desires…I give an F about you.

#mentalhealth #therapy #growth #showingup #doingthework #healing #traumarecovery #healthylifestyle #depressionhelp #health #anxietyrelief #hope #recovery #wellness #care #parenting #stress #relationshipgoals #marriage #couplescounseling #bewellphilly #mainlinepa #philly #philadelphiatherapist #mainlinetherapist

Saying means speaking with care, with intention, with love.  Understanding what’s true for you and communicating that in a nonthreatening manner.  Owning your piece in things — what you’re bringing to the dynamic, what you’ve learned, where you still need help and support. Sharing what you know, what you don’t know, what you want to know and what you’re afraid to find out. .
.
.
Hearing means listening with care, with intention, with love.  Dropping defensiveness and being receptive to someone’s vulnerability — and to your own.  Recognizing that two truths can exist at the same time, that our behaviors influence others in ways we may not fathom and perhaps, just perhaps, in ways we secretly or not so secretly desire them to. .
.

That’s not ok. That’s not ok for me.  That’s not ok for me AND I want to work with you to find the place that’s ok for both of us.  Because I matter and you matter and this relationship matters.  And because all those things matter I’m going to tell you (and be open to) the truth. .
.
.
#relationshipgoals #love #boundaries #couplegoals #couples #happy #inspirationalquotes #marriage #quoteoftheday #health #wellness #growth #vulnerability #authenticity #iloveyou #mentalhealth #philly #bewellphilly #therapist #couplescounseling #couplescounselingphiladelphia #mainlinepa #mainlinetherapist #thatsnotok #letstalk

I have maybe four iterations of this image.  The original one on my camera roll where the ocean water isn’t exactly this shade of blue and lots of other beach goers are gallivanting around.  The one I shared on my private social media feeds that shows more of my physical form.  The one I turned into a meme and texted to my friends for a good laugh.  And this one — where I cropped it to highlight the most meaningful parts; the parts of this moment I actually remember.  The smile on my face and the feel of the water dripping through my hands. .

There’s a lot of talk, especially in the therapy world, about the authentic self.  But authenticity doesn’t preclude us from our right to decide what we will reveal to others.  It doesn’t mean we allow anyone to access any or all aspects of us.  It doesn’t mean we lack choice about the people and places and moments with whom or at which we elect to bare ourselves.  It means I am always myself, but I am whatever version of myself I care to express in this moment. .

Choice is the great liberator.  It is the antidote to emotional captivity.  It is freedom.  And from freedom is born real connection. .
.
.
.
.
.

#authenticity #authentic #selflove #selfcare #health #wellness #boundaries #healthyboundaries #relationshipgoals #mentalhealth #connection #healing #dependency #freedom #watertherapy #mainlinepa #haverford #brynmawr #philly #beach #bewellphilly #therapy #couplescounseling #talktherapy #letstalk

If you’re in a relationship of any kind — romantic, professional, sibling, parent/child, familial, neighborly, friendly — you will find yourself in this place. The place where something needs to be said, to be discussed, processed, evaluated, understood, misunderstood and re-understood in order to move to another place; a better place. You will arrive at this place many times over.  It’s not a question of whether you can avoid the place; it’s only a question of how you respond when you get there.

If you can’t have difficult conversations with yourself, you can’t have difficult conversations.  If you can’t tell yourself the truth about what you want or need, what scares you, what you fear or hope or desire, what you’re opposed to, what feels good and bad and absolutely terrifying, what you believe about yourself — the good, the bad and the ugly, what challenges you, breaks you, builds you and tears you down, what you say to yourself when you’re not listening, what you hear when others speak or stay silent, what you know deep down in the quietest parts of your mind and body to be true…then you can’t do it with anyone else.
And if you can’t do it with anyone else then you can’t experience the joy and happiness, the bliss and delight, the safety and protection, the wonder and healing of connection.  If you can’t be vulnerable with yourself, you can’t be vulnerable with anyone else.  Begin within. .
.
.

#selftalk #healing #vulnerability #wellbeing #mentalhealth #mindfulness #mindbodysoul #talk #connection #safety #relationships #motivation #happiness #doingthings #movement #love #health #support #anxiety #depression #ptsd #empathy #neuroscience #psychotherapy #couples #letstalk

“The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.” Get quiet. Get really really quiet while you pick your colors .
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

#peace #quiet #meditation #mindfulness #intention #selfcare #selflove #coloring #progress #soul #heart #health #mentalhealth #wellness #mondaymotivation #thoughtoftheday #philly #phillyphilly #therapy #counseling #progress #philadelphiatherapist #energyiseverything #thoughtsbecomethings #letstalk

I’ll be judged.
I’ll be criticized.
I’ll be neglected.
I’ll be disparaged.
I’ll be abandoned.
I’ll be rejected.
I’ll be dismissed.
I’ll be rebuffed.
Ill be ostracized.
I’ll be excluded.
I’ll be shunned.
I’ll be alone.
I’ll lose.
I’ll fail.
I won’t be accepted.
.

It’s probably already happened. And it’s probably already happened in the worst way it could happen. We’re less afraid of the unknown than we are of experiencing the horrible known all over again. And then we apply that fear in all sorts of places and to all sorts of people and all sorts of experiences where it doesn’t belong.
.
.

That thing you’re afraid of has probably already happened. You can’t make yourself small enough to make that untrue, so maybe just go big.
.
.

#therapy #wellness #counseling #recovery #progress #overcomingobstacles #relationships #mentalhealth #healing #happiness #growth #growthmindset #connection #fear #depression #anxiety #peace #gratitude #care #traumarecovery #selfcare #biglittlelies #philly #philadelphia #mainlinepa #psychotherapy #letstalk

Let’s talk. .
.
.
.
.
.
#counseling #relationships #mentalhealth #wellness #compassion #healing #health #happiness #movement #recovery #growth #growthmindset #connection #therapy #peace #gratitude #care #traumabonding #philadelphia #philly #philadelphiapsychotherapist #mentalhealth #mainline #bewellphilly #mainlinetherapy #selfcare #gratitude #living #letstalk

That time you made a different choice, when you felt the sunshine or the rain, when you said what was true for you, when you forgave, when you were accountable, when you ate the whole bowl of ice cream, when you put one foot in front of the other, when you found your breath, when you said no, when you said yes, when you said nothing, when you cried, when you laughed, when you stayed in bed all day with your puppy, when you got dressed and walked out the door, when you got dressed and didn’t leave the house, when you did or said or believed one thing differently from all the times you’d done or said or believed something else that didn’t serve you. Those...all of those...and all the others are the biggest things. Now treat them as such. .
.
.
#itsthelittlethings #realtalk #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #addiction #ptsd #trauma #healing #philly #psychotherapy #counseling #wordsofwisdom #affirmations #therapy #recovery #progressnotperfection #letstalk

What an avocado run or a day of rock climbing might say about your relationship. Read the thoughts I shared with @romper via the link in my bio. .
.
.
#couplesgoals #relationshipgoals #relationships #dating #marriage #love #intimacy #connection #couplescounseling #marriagecounseling #philadelphiatherapist #philly #mainlinetherapist #letstalk

Don’t conflate simple with easy.

Change is hard. If all we needed was intellectual understanding, most of us would be making radical changes on the daily.
Our subjective experience is valid. When we honor that by uncovering the core beliefs that inform it we can then integrate and internalize the objective reality. And then we just decide to do something different.
It’s simple; not easy.

#doingtheworkistheshortcut #simplenoteasy #mentalhealth #wellness #change #traumarecovery #anxiety #depression #relationshipquotes #counseling #therapy #philly #mainlinepa #letstalk

Nice is simply undervalued. Nice is nice; which is good. Do you find yourself downplaying words like nice and fine? That something has to reach some extraordinary level to be duly appreciated? If your vacation was nice or your date night fine, your presentation went ok or your birthday was all right — these are good things. These. Are. Good. Things. .
.
.
.

nice
/nīs/
adjective
1. pleasant; agreeable; satisfactory.
"we had a nice time"
synonyms:enjoyable, pleasant, pleasurable, agreeable, delightful, satisfying, gratifying, acceptable, to one's liking, entertaining, amusing, diverting, marvelous, good; More
.
.
.
.
#gooddays #goodtimes #goodvibes #goodmoments #nicehuman #benicetopeople #humanity #tees #graphictees #ootd #springtime #philly #phillytherapist #counseling #therapy #mainline #mainlinetherapy #therapyquotes #letstalk

Sometimes I have really profound thoughts. You don't want to miss it.

First Name

Last Name

Email Address

Good things are coming.

Kristina Ferrari, M.S.Ed. | Psychotherapy for Adults + Couples in the greater philadelphia area

551 W Lancaster Ave, Suite 212, Haverford, Pa 19041

kris@kristinaferrari.com | 484 265 9532

©2019 kristina ferrari llc. all rights reserved.